Category Archives: Personal

Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain Triggered Me Resulting in This Post

Photo by https://www.jarofquotes.com

Ever since my dad took his own life nearly 18 months ago, suicides of celebrities, friends of friends, even people I don’t even know… they now trigger me and affect me in a way I NEVER expected. I see a LOT of ignorant comments out there, and I’m just trying to keep my cool and not fly off the handle on anyone. So I’ll just say this – Be mindful of your words my friends. They have a bigger impact on people than you may realize.

And please remember that regardless of what ANYONE says – if someone close to you does take their own life, it was their choice and you can’t blame yourself no matter what. Yes, I agree we should try to help in any way that we can. BUT – if a person is hell bent on taking their own life, there may be NOTHING you can do about it. Don’t lose your own light because someone chose to stay in the dark.

Also – I don’t say any of this as a person who has always had it easy. I’ve battled demons and continue to battle demons that you will never see me post about on social media. Here online, this is only a glimpse of people and what their lives really look like. I’ve been in the dark. I’ve had my own moments of fearing I’d never find my way back to the light. And it was only by making the conscious choice to find the light that I was able to save my own life. Choosing to visit a therapist, and choosing to get help was hard, but I knew I needed it, and wanted the save myself more than I care about what anyone else may have thought of me for seeking help.

That doesn’t mean I never have sad days. It doesn’t mean there aren’t moments I’d rather not see anyone and just stay in bed all day. However, the biggest thing I’ve learned after all that I’ve been through is that EVERY moment is a choice, and more than ever I choose to find the light no matter what and I CHOOSE TO LIVE

It’s been a year and a half since he made a decision we had no say in…and on days like today, it feels like it just happened all over again. Here’s the facts – we DID try to reach out to him. We DID try to get him help. He knew the phone numbers to get help. He was offered counseling by us and others SEVERAL times, and was even examined by someone after threatening to take his own life in front of others. Bottom line – NOTHING we could have said or done would have changed what he did. HE CHOSE THIS!

We listened with him. We cried with him. We tried EVERYTHING we could think of. We tried to help him out of the darkness, and he kept going back for it. Like a sick craving. While every case of suicide may be different, I’m not sure what my dad expected from us. He had soooooo many opportunities to save himself. He chose to believe we’d be better off without him. He chose to keep shutting us out. He chose to leave us. And, I understand it, but I don’t agree with it and I continue to feel like it’s the dumbest thing he ever could have done.

6 a.m. Word Vomit 3/6/2018

This morning I was woken up by a bad dream about my dad. I can honestly say I hate the moments that I dream about him because they’re usually very sad. And this particular dream I had this insane vision that he had faked his death for the purposes of running away to another country and marrying another woman.

The crazy thing is, in part of this dream I was riding in a car with one of my grandmothers and she was trying to console me, and I just remember feeling so betrayed. The reality is I do feel betrayed, and regardless of how it played out in the dream, the truth is he did leave us but he didn’t fake his death.

He really is dead. And, I find myself so mad this morning, and yet I know that I can’t continue to blame him for my current situation or anyone else’s.

No matter what he did, or anything he’s ever said or has ever done in the past, the harsh truth is my mom, my sister, and I have all made our own choices.

No matter what I say, think, or do, I really can’t blame my dad anymore for anything that has happened or anything that is to come to be.

Did he influence a lot of things growing up? Yes! But at that same time I always had a choice, and I guess I’m realizing now that I still have so many choices.
One of those choices is whether or not to keep letting my dad destroy me. I must say I am hell-bent on making sure that this does not happen.
I refuse to spend the rest of my life simply waiting to die. As much as I am afraid to do so many things that I want to do, what scares me more is coming to the end of my life only to look back and realize I wasted it.
I’m starting to believe that my life purpose might simply be to show others the power of infusing as much joy as possible into your life. Perhaps that’s what I’m really supposed to be doing – showing people that even though there are a lot of things about life that are really hard, infusing life with joy makes those hard things just a little bit easier.
Yes, I know that one of the things I want to do is teach. I want to help people make their businesses better with blogging. I want to help people learn the things that I learn as I learn them.
I want to learn and then teach things like life hacks, making things easier, how to save more money, how to make more money, how to organize and make habits that help the day-to-day to flow easier and better.
But this morning what was heavy on my heart, the heaviest in fact, it’s just trying to inspire people with everything that is in me to bring as much joy to every moment of their lives as humanly possible.

Happy Dance! One Student Loan Account PAID IN FULL!!!

Dear unleveraged debt,

It’s time we broke up. You’re just not serving me anymore. In fact, I don’t love you, and I want nothing more to do with you. I want you to move out of my life as quickly as possible!

For the past 15 years, I’ve been worried about money. It’s been a concern on my mind longer than that, but it was then that I started to REALLY worry about it as I started accumulating unleveraged debt. Nearly half of my life I’ve spent accumulating it.

I have to say, it doesn’t feel good. It feels like a prison, and you know what – I just don’t want you in my life anymore.

Thank you for the times you saved me from eviction, from not being able to pay for groceries, for all the times you bailed me out. However, I now see that the cost was high and I don’t want to use you to pay my bills ever again.

Look unleveraged debt, you were great in my moments of dire need. And, I’m so incredibly grateful you were there when I didn’t see any other options. But, now I see a new path, and I must take it.

His name is abundance, and he is going to be so much better for me. In fact, we’re going to make a better couple than you and I ever possibly could have. He understands me, and wants to shower me with everything I’ve ever wanted or needed. And, he said I can keep the money he gives me free and clear. Now that sounds like a WAY better relationship to me.

I’m sorry unleveraged debt for letting you into my life. Thank you for all the lessons you have given me. I forgive myself for all the time we spent together, and I promise not to call for you again to save me because abundance will be saving me from now on.

I love you for helping me in the past, but I’m not in love with you anymore. I know it will take some time to move all of your stuff out of my life. I hope to move the last of your stuff out by the end of this year though.

I have to tell you I’m letting abundance move in now. He and I are already starting to get to know each other, and we’ve really got something special. He’s amazing. I’m loving him so much, and I’m enjoying watching as he grows as a permanent fixture in my life. He’s going to build me a home that I own free and clear, he’s giving me two cars, he’s taking me to Europe, and he’s going to make all of my dreams come true.

I know you’ll find someone else unleveraged debt that you can still serve. You’re just not serving me anymore. I need your stuff completely out of my life by December 31, 2018. I got rid of the one student loan account as of this morning, and I’m moving the rest of them out of my life as quickly as possible. I’m looking forward to packing up and shipping out every single account.

Love always,

Famous Ashley Grant

Manifestation Babe 21 Day Money Challenge – Day 4 and 5

Day 4 and 5 – I’m combining two days and I’m even behind a couple of days because of some crazy that occurred over the weekend. Needless to say, The Universe threw me for a loop, but I’ll share more about that below.

Grab the book and follow along with me, it’s called Unleash Your Inner Money Babe: Uplevel Your Money Mindset and Manifest $1,000 in 21 Days

Day Four Discoveries

Day four is all about one of the most critical elements in the Law of Attraction – gratitude. Kathrin was brilliant in her explanation of why we must show that we’re thankful for our current gifts. She compared it with the analogy of receiving a present that you didn’t show gratitude for, and made the point that when a gift giver notices this, they are less likely to want to send you more gifts. Made perfect sense to me and I LOVED it!

So…today’s challenge was to write a list of 25 things we’re thankful for, and some interesting things transpired as I worked on my list…

I decided to take myself to the mall. Something I hadn’t done in months. I was going to shop, sip on Starbucks and then finish with a lovely meal – one of my faves. I did all of that, and while I ate my meal, I smiled as I began writing my list in my notebook I had brought along with me.

I was thinking about how much I loved my husband while I was writing my list, and decided I would get him a meal too, and bring it home to him. That’s when something I could NOT have expected occurred.

The Windshield Incident

I refuse to call this an accident anymore, and am only referring to it as an incident because of the ahas that transpired after the fact… Here’s what happened…

I was driving home, and had just enjoyed a lovely time at International Plaza. While driving, a 4 inch metal bar flew through my windshield at 70 miles per hour in the Veterans Expressway. Scary moment let me tell you. Glass flew all over me. Sounded like a gunshot. Terrifying experience I never want to repeat. Now, this next part may surprise you – I’m thankful tonight for the incident I encountered today.

Wait, what?

I know….but let me explain.

The funny thing is that as I’m sitting here reflecting on it, I was trying to figure out why something so bad could happen in the midst of me trying to work on my Law of Attraction mojo and manifesting amazing things into my life. In researching how I was feeling, I stumbled upon this blog post:

What to do When you Manifest Something Bad

I was intrigued because the article actually mentioned car accidents as something that could occur as one is working on becoming a master manifester.

“Or right when it seemed like you finally got a hand on this Law of Attraction thing and things were finally starting to look up for you, your washing machine stopped working…and your refrigerator…and your stove…

“Did you manifest these bad things?

“Of course not! You didn’t manifest something bad; you manifested on an opportunity to expand forward into the life you truly desire to live.”

Later in the post the author suggests looking for the positive to see the gift in the incident that may have at first blush seemed negative. Here’s what I realized was the gift in my windshield incident:

  1. I realized that in any crisis my husband will always be my rock. He calmed me down really fast, and showed me just how lucky I am to have him in my life to be there for me.
  2. I was given a glimpse into how many people care for me. I was kind of bummed out before heading to the mall that I was going alone, but dozens of people sent me well wishes upon learning of the incident.
  3. I had started doubting whether or not someone in my life cared as much as I needed them to about my well-being. But, the moment this person learned of the incident they were ready to drop everything to come to my aid.
  4. I was shown I’m a VERY lucky woman to have not been hurt in what could have been soooooooo much worse.
  5. I was shown just how much I want a new car and I know the universe now has confirmation of that deep desire.

So yes. I’m thankful for today and the incident for the lessons it taught me 😊

My gratitude list

Alright, after allowing myself to recoup post incident, I decided to give myself some grace, skip Sunday, and then finish my list before moving on to day 5 today – Monday 1/29/18.

“Gratitude is the holy grail of the high vibration energy that you can put out into the Universe” – Kathrin Zenkina

  1. I woke up today! Not everyone did, but today I was given another day of life. Another chance for my dreams to come true. Another day to make smarter choices! Thank you!!!
  2. I have a husband who loves me. That in and of itself means someone loves and cares for me, and is always on my side no matter what.
  3. My dogs- they fill me with such an immense amount of joy!!!
  4. The meal I’m eating right now. I’m thankful I had the money to buy it. I’m grateful it tastes good, and that someone else prepared it for me.
  5. My eyesight. My lasik eye surgery is still going strong and allows me to see without glasses or contacts. LOVE!
  6. My ability to walk.
  7. I’m thankful for the ability to write this gratitude list.
  8. I can hear the conversations around me, and the music that’s playing.
  9. I’m grateful for my phone, and my computer, and of course – the internet which affords me so many wonderful things.
  10. I’m glad I have clean clothes to wear, lots of choices for outfits and a way to wash and dry my clothes at home.
  11. I’m so thankful to have clean air to breathe.
  12. I’m thankful for my jewelry – especially the sentimental pieces.
  13. I’m so thankful for indoor plumbing. I’m remembering several moments when I was in Thailand and had to pay to pee and wash my hands. Oy! Crazy experience!
  14. I’m thankful for free drink refills and kids meals. After this is when I decided to go home and bring my husband a meal…then, the incident happened and I didn’t work on this list again until Monday…
  15. Monday morning – I’m thankful my husband is waiting on me as I rest
  16. I’m grateful for free will – I know this one might sound strange, but I know in some countries the idea of not doing what you want to do is normal. That would be a prison for me, and I’m grateful for the freedom to make my own choices
  17. Amazon and Netflix – how awesome is it that we can be entertained so easily?!?
  18. I’m thankful to have a job that requires no pants, and no commute!
  19. So glad I’m creative!!!
  20. Excited to be going to Italy in 2019!
  21. I’m thankful for arts and crafts supplies.
  22. Incredibly grateful for doctors and therapists.
  23. Grateful for the Crisis Center of Tampa Bay for getting me through one of the toughest times in my life in 2017!
  24. I’m grateful to live in the United States with central heating and air!
  25. I’m also thankful for all of my friends and family.

Day Five Discoveries

Day five is all about the fact that money needs a purpose. Kathrin challenged us to really think about what we would do with the money if we could manifest an extra $1,000 this month. I journaled about this, and took it further intending my purpose for what I would do with the $100,000 that I will manifest by December 31, 2018.

I’m not 100% ready to make those intentions public, but writing it all out was certainly inspiring for me. It made me so excited thinking about how I will use the money that I WILL manifest! I am loving this work, and I’m getting pretty addicted to this stuff I once considered a little Woo Woo. I’m embracing my inner woo-woo wholeheartedly and LOVING it!

Until tomorrow…may your hearts be full and your inner most desires be met!

Manifestation Babe 21 Day Money Challenge – Day 3

Day 3 is all about the feels! I was supposed to have this done by this morning, but a luncheon thwarted my plans. Perhaps it was silly to think I could commit to every day at breakfast, but at least I’m still actually doing the days, right?

So, I’ll continue my commitment to doing one of these posts every day, regardless of the time I’m able to get it done.

And again, I’m thinking really hard about making all of my challenges public. It feels so exciting putting all of my hopes and dreams out to the Universe in this manner. It’s like I’m shouting from the virtual rooftops what I want, and that I expect the Universe to deliver! WOOT!

Grab the book and follow along with me, it’s called Unleash Your Inner Money Babe: Uplevel Your Money Mindset and Manifest $1,000 in 21 Days

Day Three Discoveries

For day 3, the challenge was to list the feelings that I would have if I had an extra $1,000 right now. The idea is to get in tune with the feels related to having what you want now, not the feelings you would have if it’s on its way. If money is just energy, you have to get into the energetic feeling of already having it now so that it can more easily flow to you.

For me, if I had an extra  $1,000 right now I’d be calmer and relieved.  I’d feel a little more free, and a little more happy. And, I’d feel excited about what I’m going to do with the money.

You’re supposed to then repeat these feelings to get energetically aligned so the Universe can give you the money! To get into these happy feelings I’m going to visualize the money in my bank account and just feel calm, relieved, happy, free and excited.

Money Prayers

Along with this 21 day challenge, I’m also reading Catherine Ponder’s The Dynamic Laws of Prosperity. And, in her book she has these awesome money prayers that have been helping me feel more prosperous. Below are a few I’d like to share with you if you too want to feel a little more prosperous right now.

  • There is gold dust in the air – for me. Through definite, deliberate prosperous thinking, I now begin assimilating that gold dust. And even now I am beginning to experience gold dust results.
  • Divine Love expressing through me now draws to me all that is needed to make me happy and my life complete. (Yes, I know this one may be more about love than money, but when I feel loved, I make more money. Maybe it’s because it boosts my confidence and helps me feel less afraid to pitch potential clients – whatever it is – I’ll take all the love feels)
  • I release, loose, let go and let God.
  • I am the rich child of a loving Father. All that the Father has is mine to share and to experience. Diving Intelligence is now showing me how to claim my own God-given wealth, health and happiness. Divine Intelligence is even now opening the way for my immediate blessings. I have faith that all that is mine by divine right now comes to me in rich abundance. My rich blessings do not interfere with anyone else’s good, since God’s rich substance is unlimited and everywhere for all to use. There is no delay! That which is not for my highest good now fades from me and I no longer desire it. My God-given desires are richly fulfilled now in God’s own wonderful way.
  • Declare: I give thanks for the immediate, complete, divine fulfillment of these desires. This or something better comes forth with perfect timing, according to God’s rich good for me.
  • I am now activated by Divine Intelligence, motivated by Divine Love and guided by Divine Power into my right work, which I perform in a perfect way for perfect pay. The divine plan of my life now takes shape in definite concrete experiences, leading to perfect health, happiness, success and prosperity.

Aren’t those just awesome?!? I’m loving getting into my inner woo-woo spiritual side. Some how, some way, this WILL be the year that everything changes for me. My deepest desires are becoming realities, even as I type this now. SOOOOOOOO excited, and feeling so good! Until tomorrow…may your hearts be full and your inner most desires be met!

Manifestation Babe 21 Day Money Challenge – Day 2

Day 2 – Man oh man! Didn’t expect to cry as much as I did in today’s challenge, but wowza! I feel amazing right now!

Grab the book and follow along with me, it’s called Unleash Your Inner Money Babe: Uplevel Your Money Mindset and Manifest $1,000 in 21 Days

Day Two Discoveries

For day 2, the challenge was all about forgiveness. The idea is that you should completely forgive yourself, and everyone and everything from your past that has been negative until now.

Master manifestor Joe Vitale has this amazing practice he does called Ho’oponopono, and I first heard about this practice from Denise Duffield Thomas in her Money Bootcamp. The practice goes like this:

Think about every person who has wronged you and say OUT LOUD:

  • I’m sorry
  • I forgive you
  • Thank you and
  • I love you

For what I consider obvious reasons I’m not going to share my full forgiveness list publicly. However, I do want to acknowledge how much lighter I feel after doing just 30 minutes of forgiveness work. Things that I thought didn’t bother me anymore, came up unexpectedly during this exercise.

I cried a lot more than I planned, but when I was finished I felt so much love and happiness towards myself and everyone on my list. I hope that now I can truly move on from the things that were on my list. Letting them go feels freeing.

I definitely want to work more on forgiveness. I know that by forgiving others and myself I can clear the space in my heart and in my mind that I need to bring my goals and dreams into realities. I want to be clear of negativity as much as possible.

If you’re reading this right now, I love you. I’m sending you love and positive vibes and the hope that all of your dreams come true. I’m rooting for you and I want to see you succeed. here’s to our manifestation of everything we’ve ever wanted!

Manifestation Babe 21 Day Money Challenge – Day 1

Alright, here is DAY 1!!! I’m so excited to unleash my inner money babe. I’m thinking I might just publicly do all my personal development stuffs here on my blog. Big dreams require big action after all. Am I right? So…going forward as I’m working through courses and challenges and stuffs…I’m just going to lay it all out and uplevel my whole LIFE! WOOHOO

Grab the book and follow along with me, it’s called Unleash Your Inner Money Babe: Uplevel Your Money Mindset and Manifest $1,000 in 21 Days

Day One Discoveries!

for Day One, Manifestation Babe wanted us to start clearing out the crap. As with many manifestation readings and videos I’ve encountered, decluttering is a great way to clear the space for the new.

She told us to start with just our wallet and the space we spend the most time in. She recognizes we can’t do our entire homes in one day. Thank goodness!

Now that I’ve cleaned out my wallet I feel a little bit better. Then again, I also was a little bit annoyed because I realized that I had coupons in my wallet that I forgot about and let expire. But I guess that just proves that I need to clean out my wallet a little more frequently.

I did make a few other discoveries hiding in my wallet that made me excited. I found a couple of gift cards that I can use to go out to eat with my husband, and I found 4 free movie tickets that we can use for a couple of date nights. So now we just need to schedule some nights out with each other, which I do confess I’m looking forward to. I just LOVE spending time out with my hubby!

I handle most of my finances from my home office. Now that I’ve cleaned that area out, it does feel a little bit more organized. I feel like the spot is a little less chaotic. but, it also looks really bare. Haha!  

I guess that’s to be expected whenever you clean an area out. I do want to clean out the rest of my apartment as well. I definitely want to organize my entire living space as well, and give everything  a place where it goes . Nothing frustrates me more then not being able to find what I’m looking for what I’m looking for it.

The main area that I spend the most time in is my home office. The other space that I spend time in is my living room. And, I did clean a lot of the crap out that was in the living room too, but again I seriously need to declutter a lot more.

I definitely feel lighter, happier, and able to breathe easier when my space is clean and clutter-free. However the thing that frustrates me is the difficulty in maintaining the cleanliness. I find what generally happens is I spend a bunch of time cleaning, and then I don’t stick to putting everything back where it belongs.

What I would definitely like to have happen in my “Rich Babe” mind, is to clean my entire space and then manifest enough money to hire a housekeeper.  That way someone else will be responsible for putting everything away and I can just focus I’m doing the things that I actually want to do.

Of course, I’m pretty sure I’m getting ahead of myself. Therefore, I’ll just focus on these 21 days first and see where they take me.

 

I’m Going to do the Manifestation Babe 21 Day Money Challenge

I’ve decided that I’m Going to do the Manifestation Babe 21 Day Money Challenge! As a means of holding myself accountable I’m going to post all of my workbook stuffs here – public. YIKES! I’m nervous about doing this, but I figure, what the hell? You gotta be bold with the Universe right? So, I’m putting all of this OUT THERE so my dreams can come true! Today is Day 0 and Day 1, but to prevent these posts from getting insanely long, I’m just going to load one day worth of work per post. Without further adieu…here are my day zero answers to the kickASH work book. Oh, and if you want to get the book and follow along with me, it’s called Unleash Your Inner Money Babe: Uplevel Your Money Mindset and Manifest $1,000 in 21 Days

Day Zero – Pre Challenge Questions!

1. Why are you here? What inspired you to start this journey?

What inspired me to start this journey is the fact that I’m frustrated with my current financial situation. Every single time that I start to get into a positive mindset and believe that things are going to change, I go right back into my old way of thinking, my old way of acting, and I sabotage myself every step of the way.

 

2. What are you ready to shift when it comes to your finances?

I’m ready to shift my beliefs about how many has to be difficult. I’m ready to step into the flow and find the path of least resistance.

 

3. What is it that made you say “enough is enough?”

For me, the reality is that I’m not getting any younger, and I don’t want to be facing another year, facing another January and still looking at the same numbers. I want to start seeing my debts go down, and my income and net worth go up.

 

4. On a scale of 1 to 10, how committed are you to radically transforming your money story over the next 21 days?

I feel like I am 100% committed to changing and transforming my money story over the next 21 days. They say it takes 21 days to make a habit, and I would sure like to make earning more income my new habit for 2018.

 

5. How would it feel to manifest an extra $1,000 within the next 21 day period?

It would feel amazing! Bringing in more money and setting the foundation to believe in myself and believe that more income is possible would be even more amazing

 

6. What would you do with the money and why?

To be honest I would use it to pay down my debts. I really want this year to finally be the year that I start getting closer to or even finally becoming being debt-free. I know that having unleveraged debt feels very imprisoning. I want to feel free, and I truly believe the only way for that to happen is for me to finally get my unleveraged debt number to 0.

 

7. When do you plan to sit down, open up each lesson, and do the necessary work required? Commitment is key here! Give an exact time of day.

I think for me the best thing would be to commit to doing it as soon as I finish eating breakfast everyday. I think it would be the best way to start off my day because then I would be thinking about the shift necessary to get into a positive money mindset. And what better way to start each day and to be in a positive money mindset? So yes, I’ll commit to doing it every day right after I eat breakfast.

 

Rich Babe Challenge Day 5

I’m so grateful to Manifestation Babe for the Rich Babe Challenge! I have learned a lot from these last 5 days with her, and am certainly looking forward to exploring everything she taught even deeper!

Here’s what I learned in today’s video:

“Success isn’t found in doing something only once, but rather in small actions that you implement on a daily basis”

3 Rich Babe Habits

1. Checking in on your money daily- “If you’re afraid to hang out with money, then money won’t like to hang out with you either.”
2. Giving money away.
3. Never ending improvement and growth – “When you keep working on yourself and growing yourself your income grows with you.”

Rich Babe Challenge Day 4

LOVING the #RichBabeChallenge with @manifestationbabe sooooooo much! Today is day 4 and it had some awesome nuggets too. Here are my biggest takeaways from today’s video: Get intentional with your money. Make an important decision – set the intention of how much money you want to attract into your life. My intention is to earn $10,000 a month in PROFIT, every single month!

Biggest aha from today – “Release the how, and allow the Universe to do its job” This is always the hardest for me, but I’ll give it a go!

Ask yourself – “Who is that version of myself who already attracts this kind of money into my life?”

“The way to attract endless amounts of money into your life, is to start having fun right now.”

Ask yourself – “What can you do today to bring joy into your life?”

Manifestation Babe writes herself a check each month for the exact amount of money she wants to earn. She suggests doing that for yourself as well and to act as if the money is already on its way. She says, “The Rich babe version of yourself is already within you. She’s already worthy of money, has everything within her to attract the money you’ll be writing on your check, and she’s already abundant and successful.”

To step into that version of yourself that makes the kind of money you want to make you need to ask yourself things like:
– What are her habits?
– What are her thought processes?
– Who is she hanging out with?
– How is she dressed?
– What kind of books is she reading?

Questions like these “will give you the clarity you need to really tune into that Rich Babe version of yourself so that you can become her.”