FamousAshleyGrant

#B4MH May is Mental Health Awareness Month – Bloggers for Mental Health Awareness

On December 27, 2016 my father died by his own hand. There is no doubt in my mind he suffered from mental illness. But, because of the stigma that clouds the minds of so many even today, he feared seeking help for this illness because he worried what other people would think of him. He was a very proud man, and he couldn’t cope with the idea that folks would “talk” if they learned he went to a mental health professional to get help.

I don’t talk much publicly about the sadness that plagued me before I left home. I rarely discuss how terrified I was of my father, or that I feared from the age of 9 he would take his own life. And, even writing this post, I know there are some people that will be annoyed, bothered, and/or possibly pissed off at me for writing about this. I can’t care about that anymore though. Why? Because the stigma associated with mental health and discussing mental health issues is shocking! And, by speaking up, perhaps things can change.

If my father had not been so damn afraid of how people would view him, I think he could have relinquished his pride just enough to seek help. I think my life and the lives of my other family members could have been better, more peaceful. And yes, I think he might be alive today.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Call 1-800-273-8255

Available 24 hours everyday

There Is No Shame In Seeking Help

I am in therapy. I see a therapist once a week, and I have since January of this year. Before my father’s death, I saw one online because I just needed an unbiased person to listen to me, and help me cope with issues I was dealing with. I’m not ashamed of this. I understand the importance of working through my crap so that I don’t go down the deep dark path of depression that ultimately led to my father killing himself. So if you or someone you know decides to use services such as mental health facilities in Lexington or other locations, don’t belittle them, don’t think less of them, commend their strength instead, it’s more than likely they’re in need of someone to do that also.

Please know that NO – I do not have suicidal ideation, but I did have a dark period where I thought about it. No, I do NOT condone what my father did, but as much as it hurts me, I understand it. I can see how a person can go down the rabbit hole of sadness, and get down so deep that they can’t see the light anymore. I can actually understand how easy it might have been to go to such a dark place that you feel the only way out is death.

And, that’s why I want to shout from the rooftops that the second you feel yourself going into a place of despair -CALL SOMEONE! GET HELP! YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND YOU DON’T HAVE TO FACE PAIN ALONE!

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Call 1-800-273-8255

Available 24 hours everyday

You may be wondering, why speak up now? Because I didn’t have the courage to before. I too was wrapped up in the fear of what others would say. My dad’s death jolted me, and made me see so clearly how different things could have been. I wish I could go back and tell him I was seeing a therapist, and that I was working with people that were helping me so that maybe he would feel he had permission to as well.

I wish I hadn’t bought into the stigma of working with mental health professionals meaning you were crazy when I was a child. Since growing up, I have come to realize that this could not be further from the truth, and, in fact, there are some wonderful mental health facilities out there that help people to live healthy and rewarding lives. Looking back I can see several moments where I could have stood up and said something if I hadn’t been so scared. But, I can’t go back. What’s done is done.

I couldn’t save my father’s life. Perhaps in all honesty, even if I HAD spoken up, I never could have saved his life. But either way, now that my mouth is open, I’ll never stop myself from saying this again – If you or anyone you know is suffering from mental illness, even if you just suspect it – INTERVENE! DO SOMETHING! SAY SOMETHING! GET HELP!

Resources for Mental Health Assistance

Here in Tampa, if you are in crisis, you can call 2-1-1 to be directly connected to the Crisis Center of Tampa Bay. If you’re outside of Tampa Bay, 2-1-1 will still connect you to someone local who can help. As per United Way’s website “2-1-1 is a free and confidential service that helps people across North America find the local resources they need.” You can also check out MentalHealth.gov as a starting point for additional or other help.

Above is the last family photo of me, my sister, my mom and my dad as far as I know. This was their 30th wedding anniversary. I threw a surprise party for them. What people don’t see in the photo is that there was a lot of sadness, anger and heartbreak behind the smiles in this image. In fact, most people have no idea when others are in pain.

We put on brave faces and go into the world harboring our pain, suffering in silence. But it doesn’t have to be that way. We all deserve to be happy. We all deserve to have help for our mental struggles. We don’t have to face the sadness alone. Again, I implore you – If you or anyone you know is suffering from mental illness, even if you just suspect it – INTERVENE! DO SOMETHING! SAY SOMETHING! GET HELP!

This post was written as part of Bloggers for Mental Health Awareness. Brittany from Clumps of Mascara got a bunch of us bloggers together and inspired us to take a stand and help normalize mental health concerns, illnesses, and discussion.

Please, please, pleeeeease keep spreading the word. Share this post with the hashtags #BloggersForMentalHealth or #B4MH to help spread the message anywhere and everywhere across the net. By speaking up and making it “okay” to talk about, perhaps we can save lives, and make countless others a little easier.

Save

My First Time – Getting a Chocolate Pedicure

This article first appeared in the Tampa Bay Times. It has been slightly updated and I’m posting it here for my blog readers to enjoy.

I have gotten pedicures before, and I’ve done things like a foot soak detox before, which I thoroughly enjoyed, as this is said to remove the harmful toxins from the body, allowing my body to feel a lot healthier. But after a friend of mine recommended I checked out a process known as a chocolate pedicure, I had to skip my traditional one and try it. It had been a rough week so being pampered sounded good to me.

It turns out there are several benefits to using chocolate for pampering. First, there are antioxidants in chocolate. Second, cocoa butter, a key ingredient in several types of chocolate, is a great skin moisturizer. Lastly, and in my opinion, most importantly, just the smell of chocolate has been proven to release endorphins which are a mood booster.

I had mine done at a Spa in New Tampa that has since closed it’s doors. However, I did learn the Spa Evangeline offers a similar pedicure! Theirs is called the Dulce Delight

Here are the details on Spa Evangeline’s Dulce Delight:

Inspired by Chocolate Pi’s Salted Caramel signature dessert. A coffee salt exfoliant of Arabica bean extract energizes, exfoliates, and soothes dry skin. A full body dark chocolate mask is applied, and wrapped in a cocoon for better absorption & detoxification. Shower off, and a Sweet Cream body milk massage seals the deal. A sampling of salted caramel to conclude.
Also available as a hand and foot treatment.
120 minutes

I would strongly recommend doing a massage and a pedicure. By the end of the day you will smell like a dessert, and feel like a million bucks!

How my pedicure went down:

My pedicure began with a warm chocolate foot bath. The aroma of the chocolate and the bubbles of the jets in the foot bath melted all of my leftover stress away within minutes. Just as I was beginning to feel the calm come over me I was presented with a chocolate martini. Delicious. Its smooth texture went down like chocolate milk, and in the bottom of the glass was a piece of chocolate for me to munch on while my pedicurist scrubbed my feet. (I highly recommend grabbing a chocolate martini at Edge if you get your treatment at Spa Evangeline. Their drinks are delicious!!!)

My pedicurist used a cocoa scrub to wash and exfoliate my tootsies, and then it was time for my mask. I never had a mask on my feet before, but it was extremely moisturizing and felt so nice. The mask was, of course, infused with chocolate.

Following the mask my feet were massaged with chocolate oil. After that my toes were dried and nail polish was applied. My feet have never felt so good. My treatment delighted my senses to say the least.

When I got home my husband asked me if I had baked brownies. The scent was strong, and made us both hungry, but I was more interested in continuing my tranquil state than cooking. I felt so good from a day of chocolaty indulgence that I already wanted to book another one.
Chocolate Pedicure
Where to get it: Get a similar one at Spa Evangeline
Located at The Epicurean Hotel across from Bern’s Steakhouse

1203 South Howard Avenue
Tampa, FL 33606

Cost: $85 for the 60-minute experience as of February 2017.

Three things I learned
1. Chocolate contains 300 different compounds, some of which can have a significant impact on one’s health and beauty.
2. Chocolate re-mineralizes and energizes the skin.
3. For some people the scent of chocolate has a psychological effect of relaxing your mind and therefore relaxing your body.

Would I do it again? Yes! It was so relaxing and luxurious. I look forward to the day when I can afford one every week!

The My First Time was a column about me trying new things in Tampa Bay. I’m reviving it here on my blog! Got a suggestion for something I can try? I’d love for you to hit me up in the DMs on Twitter

Have you every wondered what a chocolate pedicure would feel like? This post is about my first time having one.

Berries and Bubbles Martini – The Perfect Valentine’s Cocktail

berries and bubbles martini - ocean prime - valentine's day drink
Today, I’m sharing a delicious cocktail that is perfect for Valentine’s Day! This romantic love potion is called the Berries and Bubbles martini. You can grab one at Ocean Prime like I did, or try your hand at making one yourself with the recipe below. The image above is by me and the recipe below is from the About Guide to Phoenix.

Yield: 1 serving

Ingredients:

– 1¼ oz. Belvedere Citrus
– ¾ oz. Crème de Cassis
– 1½ oz. home made sour
– 1 oz. Domaine Chandon Brut

Preparation:
1. Combine Belvedere Citrus, Crème de Cassis and sour in mixing tin
2. Add ice, shake vigorously and strain into chilled martini glass containing a spoonful of marinated blackberries and a piece of dry ice
3. Finish cocktail with Domaine Chandon Brut float.

The bubbles and smoke in the one pictured above are caused by a small sliver of dry ice that was added to the glass just before pouring the drink in. However, if you can’t get your hands on dry ice, the drink is still yummy without it. You just won’t get the smokey bubbly effect…

The Weird Trick My Husband Taught Me to Help Me Cope with My Dad’s Suicide

On December 27, 2016, my father (pictured above) took his own life. This photo is more than 13 years old, but it’s how I’m choosing to remember my dad – with a smile and seemingly happy. The photos of him in recent years are sad, much like his own mind was. About three years after this photo was taken, he lost his job – a job that he had worked like hell to keep for nearly two decades. A job that despite his illnesses, he kept and continued to work hard at regardless of pain he might have had that day.

Doctors told him that his illnesses were stress related – a diagnosis I’ve been dealing with myself since I first went off to college. Dis-ease, the body’s state of dis – ease can cause it to become ill, and I think that is where my dad’s ailments originated.  Looking back, dad was never happy. He was always stressed. Unfortunately, I take a lot of that after him.

When my husband learned that my dad took his own life, he told me he was instantly scared for me. He confessed that it broke his heart watching me act a lot like my father – always stressed, always looking at the negative, always in a state of dis-ease. This state I’ve allowed myself into for so many years has caused weight gain in me, tension in my relationships, struggle in my business, and so much more.

I’m raising money to help my mom with the bills dad left behind. Please help if you can here. Thank you so much!

My husband said point blank that his fear was I could just as easily go down a path of sadness, depression and ultimately some form of suicide if I didn’t course correct starting immediately. I think part of the reason I’m so shaken by my dad’s choice to end his life is because I know deep down just how right my husband is that if left unchecked, my patterns could go down a very dark path. In fact, they have in the past. I don’t talk about how dark I’ve gone, but those times scared the hell out of me.

One night after my father’s passing, my husband and I got to talking about my negativity, stress and depression. During our talk, he taught me a trick that is helping me not only to cope with my dad’s death, but also is helping me to be genuinely happier. It’s only been about two weeks since my husband taught me this trick, however, it’s wild to me that it’s helping me as much as it is. Because it’s helping me, I’m sharing it with you. It’s so simple, but has had an unimaginable effect on me.

Whenever I am starting to think negative thoughts and/or going into a dark space in my mind, he told me to stop, take a deep breath, and run down a list of things I’m grateful for. He said I might feel silly, but until this trick gets ingrained in me, he suggested I say these things out loud. He said to always start with the most important thing to be grateful for, and in his eyes that’s the fact I’m alive. My go to mantra lately has been:

I’m alive. I have a loving husband. I have the cutest dogs. I had a yummy breakfast. I have a roof over my head. I have running water… And on and on I go until the negative thought escapes, or at least dissipates enough that I am no longer triggered by it.

And so, this is what I’ve been doing as many as 20-30 times a day as these horribly negative thoughts come into my head. I literally will take notice of the fact I’m feeling down, stop, take a deep breath, and begin my mantra….

I’m alive. I have a loving husband. I have the cutest dogs…

This simple trick is actually making me feel better than I have in years. It’s put a smile on my face many times, even in the midst of this tragedy. It’s not always the same words, but it does always start with “I’m alive and have a loving husband.” I will keep practicing this trick until it becomes second nature because I honestly want to live as happy of a life as possible for as many years as possible before my time here on earth is done.

I’m alive. I have a loving husband. I have the cutest dogs….

I do plan on visiting with a counselor. This is something that I’ve been asked many times since my dad left my family if I would do. Yes, I will. And, I do plan on joining a support group for additional help coping. But, for now…I’m choosing as much happiness as possible. This simple trick is helping me. I hope it helps you too.

Can you help me help my mom? Anything would be appreciated!

5 Ways to Prepare Your House for Winter

I can’t help but think of my family in Kentucky and Ohio in these winter months. As cold as it gets there I know my family members are always looking for ways to keep their houses warm. With that in mind, below are 5 ways to prepare your house for winter. While this post is sponsored, all opinions are my own.

5 Ways to Prepare Your House for Winter

With winter setting in, you need to make sure that your home is operating at peak efficiency. By preparing early and making all the needed changes like getting Replacement Windows Austin to replace your old inefficient ones, the easier your winter will be. It is important that you take some time to think about what jobs need completing to your house when you have the chance, and no project is too big or too small. Even thinking about contacting someone similar to this Clean Pro Gutter Cleaning Buffalo company who can come to remove any debris before the likelihood of facing a snow-filled winter which could cause unwanted damage to your gutters and your home will be a job well done. Changing your windows could also make a big impact as well. Not only will this help reduce your utility bills, but it will also ensure that you don’t have any other significant problems later on, such as a broken heater. To help maximize your planning, be sure to download free weather apps onto your smartphone, so you will know more about what’s going on outside so as to better adjust yourself inside. Here are five things you can do this winter:

  1. Check for Leaks: If you notice any cold air coming in where it shouldn’t be, then that can lead to some pretty major problems later on. Be sure to identify the exact source of the incoming air, and then seal it as best as possible. Usually, points of entry are around doorways or windows.
  1. Install a Programmable Thermostat: Unless you want to keep getting up to adjust the temperature, you will want to get a thermostat that has programmable options. This way you don’t have to worry about the house getting too hot or cold, nor do you have to worry about wasting energy. Be sure to keep your home at a lower temperature while you’re away.
  1. Check Your Heater: If months have passed since you last used the heater, it may be rusty and inefficient. This is where the help of professionals companies such as Universal HVAC in Portland (if you live in the area of Oregon) may be of assistance.
    Before the weather gets really bad, have someone come and inspect your unit to make sure that you aren’t throwing money away due to a poorly operating machine.
  1. Remove Icicles and Dams: After you have installed snow weather apps on your phone, be sure to check out when storms are coming in and plan accordingly. One of the biggest issues during winter is when icicles form and block water on your roof, causing damage. Stay on top of things and remove ice after it forms. Otherwise, you will be paying a hefty price later on. If you have damage to your roof, you most certainly will want to tend to that before Winter comes. Using a company specialising in roof installation austin will help to prevent any disasters from occurring in those cold months.
  1. Turn Off Outside Faucets: If you have a hose outside, it can freeze and damage your pipes. Make sure that you don’t have water running to any exterior faucets, as they can be a huge problem if they freeze up. Use the shut-off valve to prevent this issue.

I know when I’m in Kentucky during the winter months I want the places I’m staying to be as warm as possible. This Florida girl can barely handle the cold. Here’s a picture of just one tactic I used to stay warm when I was in Kentucky in January of this year:

What do you to keep warm in the winter? Leave a comment and tell me about it!

Blog Post Ideas for Salons

I decided I want to start sharing blog post ideas for a variety of businesses. Something about just keeping these ideas in my head is starting to make me feel as though I could explode. I often will see a business owner, and hear him/her complain about how to engage with potential customers. What immediately starts happening is my mind begins racing with all kinds of ideas that they could use to blog about and share in their newsletters, on their website, possible even transform into an eBook or eCourse….this is just how my creative mind works. James Altucher said that ideas are like a muscle that needs to be worked out. If you don’t use it you lose it, so he recommends writing a list of 10 ideas a day.

Is your salon blog stale? Here are some great blog post ideas for salon owners

With that in mind, I’m going to flex my idea muscles even more. Who knows? This could turn into a fun and exciting eBook or pamphlet for my ghostwriting clients! Without further ado…here is my first set of ideas- Blog Post ideas for Salons

  1. About your salon – when did you open, where did you open, why did you open, and who do you run it with?
  2. Spotlight on your staff, or even one spotlight per staff member. What a great way to encourage your staff members sharing your website on their own social media pages! Many people love to have their moment in the spotlight. And, most folks enjoy recognition from their employers.
  3. The services you offer. Often times, I see a mundane list of services offered on a salon’s website. What I mean by mundane is it just lists the name of the service and the price. I want to know more. What will I enjoy during the service? For example, don’t say wash, cut and style. Instead, tell me about how my service will begin with a luxurious shampooing and a consultation with my stylist about the right cut for my face. Then, after my hair is nice and clean, I’ll be whisked away to my chair where my hair will be magically transformed and finished off with a wonderful blow dry and styling. Example two – if your salon gives pedicures, explain how important pampering is for our tootsies. Tell me about the foot massage I’ll enjoy, and why proper foot care is so important.
  4. Milestone events. Tell your readers about your anniversaries! Share lessons learned after 500 haircuts. Explain how grateful you are for serving your 100th customer in your new location. Share the joyous news of your new spouse of baby on the way. People crave relationships and love working with those they feel they have a connection with.
  5. What sets you apart from your competitors? Why should someone visit you instead of the guy down the road? What special extras do you offer that would make someone feel appreciated as a customer?
  6. Share your specials! Is it your salon’s anniversary? Celebrate with a sale on all of your products. Or, perhaps you could have an open house party and write about that. Then, after the party do a follow-up post and share the images from the night.
  7. Top 10 cuts for a round face, or top 12 styles for your wedding. There is a reason lists are so popular on blogs – the public eats them up!
  8. Quick styles for date night. You could even do a video tutorial on your blog for easy styles people can do at home. Now, I know what you might be thinking – I want them to come IN to my salon. That’s great, but building a relationship with your readers is what will make them loyal customers. Show you’re the expert on hair care!
  9. Hair care tips. I love this one because personally, after I get a hair cut, I love learning how to keep my hair looking as healthy as it did when I got it done. I want to know how to make it shinier and more vibrant. Your customers might want the same!
  10. My final idea that I’ll post today is a round up post of your favorite styling tools. What are your must haves? A flat iron? A curling iron? Combs or brushes? Bonus idea – mention styling tools that you are selling in your shop. Or, if you aren’t selling tools in your shop, get an Amazon Affiliate account and link to the tools there to earn a commission.

There you have it folks – my first post of blog post ideas. I enjoyed doing this post so much that I’m definitely going to be doing a LOT more of them. Do you have an industry you want me to post about? Leave me a comment below and tell me about it!

Who is the Ghostblogging Business in a Weekend Course for?

It’s for people who:

  • The ghostblogging business in a weekend course is for the happy writerlove to write
  • want to start their own business
  • have at least some writing experience (blogging, newspaper, magazines, etc…)

It’s not for people who:The ghostblogging business in a weekend course is not for people who hate writing!

 

  • hate writing more than anything
  • can’t string two sentences together to save their life
  • don’t want to start a business
  • lack discipline and organization

 

 

 

Learn more and enroll HERE!

Announcing My Ghostblogging Business in a Weekend Course!

Ghostblogging Business in a Weekend

Update: LAUNCHED 5/31/17

ghostblogging-business-in-a-weekend-promo-square

I am insanely excited to announce my first course HAS LAUNCHED! I’ve been talking about creating this course for nearly two years now. It started as a discussion with several writers I know that kept asking me about how I’m making full time income from writing. Yes, I get paid to write in my pajamas! Instead of staying on the 9 to 5 path, I took a chance nine years ago and decided to become a freelance writer. Then, the economy tanked and the freelancers were the first to go at every publication I was writing for.

Fast forward to 2014 and an opportunity landed in my lap to start ghostwriting for a small business. A light bulb went off! I realized I wouldn’t get the credit, but I was ready to take the cash! So, I started ghostwriting for this small business owner’s blogs and slowly, but surely, began getting offers to write for other people’s blogs. In the midst of building my business I had to take on another 9 to 5 to make ends meet, but just six months later I was able to quit for good. I haven’t looked back since!

Now, I want to help YOU! If you are a writer already and want to know how to break into a ghost blogging business, this is the course for you. I’m going to give you all the tools and ideas you need to start your ghostblogging business in a weekend. Yep, 48 hours is all you need if you have the hustle and drive it takes to launch your work from anywhere with WiFi ghostblogging business!

Click the Buy Now button below, and let’s get you registered! Then, you will receive all the details you need to make your ghostblogging business dream a reality.

Grab the Ghostblogging Business in a Weekend Course for just $97!





Imagine starting your own business! Imagine having complete control over your hourly rate, not to mention the hours you will work. Picture being able to work anywhere with WiFi! Buy the course today, and I’ll teach you exactly how I did it. If I can do it, you can too!

Who is this course for? Learn more here!

ghostblogging-business-in-a-weekend-curriculum

Thanksgiving Cocktails – Thanksgiving Sidecar

Today’s drink is a spin on the traditional sidecar. It was created by an awesome bartender at the now closed Tampa Palm Restaurant a couple of years ago.  Learn how to make this drink below.

Today's drink is a spin on the traditional sidecar. This Thanksgiving Sidecar blends nutmeg, brown sugar, apricot brandy and more. Learn how to make it here

Ingredients

– 1 tablespoon quick dissolve sugar
– 2 oz Apricot Brandy
– 1 oz Grand Marnier
– 1 tablespoon brown sugar
– orange slice and crystallized ginger for garnish
– 1 tablespoon regular sugar and a pinch of nutmeg blended together

Have a drink you want me to try or a product you want me to review? 

Contact me HERE! I’m PR friendly ?

To Prepare:
1. Rim a martini glass with the nutmeg sugar blend
2. Pour everything but the garnish into a cocktail shaker filled with ice
3. Shake and strain into the martini glass
4. Garnish with the orange slice and crystallized ginger
Makes approximately 1 drink!

Have a drink you want me to try or a product you want me to review? 
Contact me HERE! I’m PR friendly ?

This post may contain a link to an affiliate. See my disclosure policy for more information.

Also check out how to make yesterday’s Thanksgiving Cocktail – The Harvest Moon Martini!

 

Save

Thanksgiving Cocktails – Harvest Moon Martini

Welcome to day four of my Thanksgiving Cocktails series. Today’s yummy drink is called the Harvest Moon Martini. It’s served cold, but it sure does go down warm. Learn how to make it below!

Today's yummy drink in my Thanksgiving Cocktails series is called the Harvest Moon Martini. It's served cold, but it sure does go down warm. Learn how to make it here!

Not only does this Thanksgiving cocktail bubble, it smokes! The drink is a delicious blend of bourbon and vodka and citrus – oh my!

Ingredients:
– 2 oz. Bulleit Bourbon
– 2 oz. Vanilla Vodka
– 1 oz of Monin Pumpkin Spice Syrup
– squeeze of half a lemon
– squeeze of an orange
– orange peel and cinnamon stick for garnish
– a small cube of dry ice for the smoke effect (optional – the drink is still yummy without it!)

To Prepare:
1. Place a small cube of dry ice into a martini glass
2. Pour all ingredients into a cocktail shaker filled with ice
3. Shake and strain into the martini glass
4. Garnish with the orange peel and cinnamon stick
Makes approximately 1 drink!

Also check out how to make yesterday’s Thanksgiving Cocktail – This one’s CALLED Thanksgiving!!!!

Bourbon, citrus and vodka - oh my! This Harvest Moon Martini might just have you howling!

Save